Scottish Tweets to Trump Demonstrate Wordsmithing to Rival Shakespeare

There are so many insane and important things happening in the world this year, and I haven’t yet been able to distill any of them down to something I can say articulately in a blogpost. There is one small piece of it all, though, that I find so delightful that I feel I must share it.

If you haven’t yet seen the fine array of creative and hilarious insults people in Scotland have been tweeting to Donald Trump since his would-be-inconceivable-if-he-didn’t-always-do-things-like-this appearance at one of his golf courses there on Friday, treat yourself and check them out here, and here, and especially here. Some are NSFW, but all are not to be missed.

The creativity ranges from the adding of colorful endings such as “nugget”, “womble” and “splat” to choice four letter words, to long form expressions such as, “you couldn’t be more out of touch with reality if Nessie bit you on the arse”, to wonderful words I’ve never heard of, such as “numpty” and “twonk”. The best ones, though, combine simple, ordinary words in innovative ways.

I have narrowed down the ones I’ve seen to three favorites. #3 is “you mangled apricot hellbeast”. #2 is “you bankrupt traffic cone”. #1, for its originality and vividness, has to be “you weapons-grade plum”.

Normally I wouldn’t promote insults. I believe very strongly in civility and decorum and taking the high road. Two things have combined in this case to cause me to make an exception. The first is that the things Trump said were so egregiously ignorant, insensitive and irresponsible that they would end any diplomat’s career, especially combined with all the other egregiously ignorant, insensitive and irresponsible things he has said. It is unfathomable that such a person could possibly become the President of the United States of America, and it is very difficult to continue attempting to treat with any vestige of respect someone who affords no one else that courtesy. The second is my love for the English language, and the pure joy I feel in seeing anyone use it so brilliantly. I just can’t resist!

Thank you, Scottish tweeters, for making my day week!

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